Wait and See
by AznSage
Summary: Another songfic based on the wonderfully talented Utada Hikaru. Once again, I don't own the song. This is actually my first songfic, it's just that I posted it later. So, if it really is bad, you now know why. Lyrics in italics, translation in brackets.


Wait and See

_Is it all for you?   
Give it all for you_

I'm not sure when it all began, when I started to love him. That coldness in his eyes, only a mask, something that I think my smiling face and understanding can penetrate. I'm still questioning myself if it's real or not. Do I love him or Hilde? Does he love me or Relena? Do I even know the meaning of the word 'love?' No matter, I'll just have to find out for myself. And when I do, I'll give it all for whoever it is. 

_datte "tsumadzuki nagara" tte   
kuchi de iu hodo raku ja nai hazu desho   
matte   
mou sukoshi wakatte kuretara kitto   
(motto ii ame ga furu kara)_   
[But, it can't be as easy as saying   
"I just slipped up, and..."   
Hold on   
Because if you understood me just a little more, I'm sure   
(a better rain would fall)] 

He's typing again. What the hell is he always typing? It's not like I can actually ignore it and continue reading my manga. But then again, might as well get it over with.   
"Heero?" My voice works, score one for me.   
"Hn."   
"Do...uh...never mind." I can't say it. It'll just sound stupid. Me, one; world, one.   
"Duo, what is it? If you wanna say something, just say it." He closed his laptop! Whoo, caught his attention. Go me. Me, two; world, one.   
"It's nothing really. It just kinda slipped outta my mouth." I unconsciously gave that kinda troubled look that Quatre gets everytime his uchuu no kokoro feels something bad happening. Hopefully he didn't notice that. Uh-oh, he noticed.   
"Duo, you don't purposely talk with me with that tone unless something is bothering you. Now what is it? If you don't tell me, I'll just leave right now to find some peace and quiet."   
"I...uh..." I try and avert his gaze by looking out the window. Wow, it's raining again. Maybe I should go outside so he doesn't see my tears. I run for the door. 

_katte.   
sou yobarechatte   
tokidoki kodoku kanjite mo daijoubu   
futari de dashita kotae ni norikonde   
(kumori sora wo oinuku kara)_   
[Selfish.   
That's what they call me   
It makes me feel lonely sometimes, but that's OK   
Because we'll ride in the "answer" we found together   
(and pass by all the cloudy skies)] 

A sense of dread falls over me as I reach for the knob, only to be stopped by a strong arm. I quickly wipe away the tears from my eyes. I don't even know why I'm crying.   
"Duo... chotto matte..." In my state of vulnerability, he pulls me back to the bed I was just sitting on. "If there's something on your mind, just say it. It'll make us all feel better. Onegai?" My mind laughs mentally. The Perfect Soldier? Feelings? I think not. But that would be being selfish. I had just caught his attention and now I didn't want to say anything. And it does feel lonely locking away everything like that. This subject would be unavoidable sooner or later. He wipes away my tears with his finger, brushing slowly by my cheeks and cupping them.   
I take in a deep breath, and look him straight in the eyes. Wow, I had the courage to do that? Me, three; world, one. He looks at me, concerned. I can feel my heart jump out of the window. I've never seen that look on his face before. It's so human, so caring, so promising, so mine.   
"Heero," I look down. I can't look at him in a moment like this. "I think I'm in love with you. But...do you love me?" He looks taken aback by the question. I hope I didn't scare him off or something. "I don't know." He looks ashamed and refuses to meet my gaze.   
"Then find out." I kiss him tenderly, not demanding anything more than what we have, and leave him sitting on the bed to go into the rain. 

_mawaranai TAIYA ga me no mae ni   
naranderu kedo   
accel fumazu ni iru no wa dare darou ne   
mujunya_   
[Tires that aren't spinning   
are lined up before our eyes, but   
who's the one not stepping on the accelerator, hm?   
Hypocrite.] 

I'm gonna pay a little visit to Hilde. Hopefully this can clear up a few things. It is now my quest, my mission to do this. I have to take this one problem at a time. I knock on the door.   
"Come in."   
"Hey Hilde. We need to talk." She nods. It's like she's been anticipating this since the beginning.   
"Duo, we don't have much to talk about. We both know that you feel something stronger for Heero, not me. So go back to him. And when you do find happiness with him, come back here."   
"And if I never find happiness with him?"   
"Then never show your face here again." 

_Oh baby wait and see   
tama ni wa itasa mo ii yo ne   
RISUKU ga aru kara koso   
shinjiru koto ni imi ga aru no sa   
(mayowanai nante muri)   
Oh baby can't you see   
matsu no wa tokui ja nai kedo   
kimetsukeru no wa haya-sugiru n da   
uranai nante shinjitari shinai de_   
[Oh baby wait and see   
Once in a while, even pain is good.   
It's because there's risk involved   
that trust has meaning   
(It's impossible not to have some doubts)   
Oh baby wait and see   
Waiting isn't exactly my forte   
but it's still too soon to be able to say for sure   
Don't put your trust in some "fortune-telling."] 

So, you still here? Well, I went back to our apartment after that talk with Hilde. Seems that our good old Heero called Relena over to talk with her. And guess what? They're together. Somehow they figured he loves Relena, but I somehow doubt that if Hilde told me to never show my face at her place again if I don't find happiness with him. That's how Hilde and I are. We take these big risks to ensure the other's happiness. It's what makes our friendship unique, one that has to be built on foresight and trust.   
But now, I'm in doubt of what she thinks and says will be true.   
Anyway, back in reality, my heart is killing me when I came back in and see that Relena is kissing Heero. He's not pushing her off or anything. It's just that if you didn't know what to do, you might wanna stay still and assess the situation first. And besides, the guy thinks he's in love with her.   
But I doubt it.   
But this is Heero's battle. He has to figure this out for himself. It's one of the things he has to do to become a human being. Love, find out you're not in love, break their heart, love again. So I've gotta wait this out. That's just great 'cause waiting is just my thing. I waited my whole life to find someone like him and now I gotta wait again for him to figure out soul stuff. Just great.   
Hopefully Hilde's right. I would hate to leave her outta my life and find Heero with Relena. But it's all too soon to tell. 

_aijou   
mukatte hidari ni ketsuhou   
dakara kimi ga hitsuyou   
tsumetai taido de jibun wo mamotte'ru tsumori na no?   
kaerarenai mono wo ukeireru chikara   
soshite ukeirerarenai mono wo   
kaeru chikara wo choudai yo_   
[Affection   
I look by my side, and there's something missing.   
That's why I need you   
Are you gonna protect yourself with a cold attitude?   
Grant me the strength   
to accept the things I cannot change   
and to change the things I cannot accept.] 

I toss and turn in my sleep, there's something seriously missing. Heero. I can't feel him anymore. Probably cause his heart belongs to another, supposedly. Something's shaking me.   
"Duo? You okay?" I blink my eyes open. It's him. Of course it's him, was there ever anyone else in our room?   
"Uh...yeah, I think so."   
"Good, then get some sleep. We have a mission tomorrow." Great. I was just making progress with that mask and now its right back to where we began, with the soldier.   
Come on Heero, see it soon. Give me the strength and courage I need from you to get through this. Give me the strength to accept Relena and you.   
And give me the strength to make it me and you. 

_Oh baby wait and see   
yappa itai no wa IYA dakedo   
RISUKU ga aru kara koso   
tatakau hodo ni tsuyoku naru no sa   
(osorenai nante muri)   
Oh baby can't you see   
matsu no wa tokui ja nai kedo   
kimetsukeru no wa haya-sugiru n da   
uranai nante shinjitari shinai de_   
[Oh baby wait and see   
I really hate getting hurt, but   
It's because there's risk involved   
that the more we fight, the stronger we become   
(It's impossible not to be afraid)   
Oh baby can't you see   
Waiting isn't exactly my forte   
but it's too soon to be able to say for sure   
Don't put your trust in some "fortune-telling."] 

Heero, man! When are you gonna find out if you are truly in love with her or me? Sure, she says that to you, cause she wants you too! But she doesn't let you choose! How can that be love?   
Sorry about the little explosion there, it's just that these last two days have been driving me nuts! I hate waiting! And I really hate getting hurt...but that's how it is everytime I see him look at her like...that...   
I'm starting to get worried that Hilde might have been wrong. But I shouldn't interfere with fate. If it's fate that he loves me, it's fate that he loves me. If it's fate that he loves Relena, then it's fate.   
But I'm afraid. 

_So baby wait and see   
iyasenai kizu nante nai   
RISUKU ga aru kara koso   
aisuru hodo ni setsunai no ka na   
(sonna ni waruku wa nai)   
dokoka tooku e   
nigetara raku ni naru no ka na   
sonna wake nai yo ne   
doko ni ita tte watashi wa watashi nan da kara_   
[So baby wait and see   
There's no wound that can't be soothed   
I wonder if it's because there's risk involved   
that the more we love, the more we get hurt?   
(That's not such a bad thing...)   
Maybe it would be easier   
just to run somewhere far away   
But that's not gonna happen   
Because no matter where I go, I'm still me] 

His face looks really different today. I think he realized it! But he's too afraid of hurting Relena...there's that whole 'I don't want to kill the innocent little girl' thing again. He keeps on seeing her in Relena. Oh god, when is he gonna leave her already? We're all beginning to hurt from this now. Me from waiting for him, him from not knowing what to do, and her from seeing the change. He just has to make the decision soon.   
But my heart! My aching heart! Maybe I should just go on a vacation for some time, you know, get rid of the frustration. But then again, he might not be able to find me when we need to talk if I run.   
And besides, no matter where I go, I still feel it. I still feel the emptiness without him. I'm still the same old Duo Maxwell I ever was. 

_KI- ga taka-sugiru nara sagete mo ii yo   
uta wa kawaranai tsuyosa motte'ru   
nayami nante hitotsu no tsuukaten   
ooki-sugiru BURESURETTO no you ni sururi_   
[If the key is too high, it's OK to lower it   
The song will still have a strength that won't change   
These worries are only one more point to pass through   
Like a bracelet that's too big, it slips away] 

Finally! He said it! It was tragic, ever though I knew it would come. He sat Relena down and they talked and that was it. The scary and tragic part was that she didn't even cry or anything. She just listened and nodded at the end and left. Gee, I hope she finds some guy soon, she deserves one, I guess.   
"Duo?"   
"Yeah, Heero?"   
"I..." Oh great! The best moment of my life and he stutters because he's scared!   
"Heero, I love you. If you want to say it back, then say it. I won't think any less of you. So don't worry."   
"Aishiteru, Duo."   
"I know." And we hug, and I kiss him tenderly. After so much questioning, we have found the answers we were trying so hard to find. 

_(Don't believe until you see all there is to see...)_

I knock twice on the door. Heero is on my arm. He's smiling! It's definitely something you wouldn't have wanted to miss. God, he looks so cute when he smiles!   
"Come in!"   
"Hey Hilde!"   
"So what's up?"   
"Hilde I came here to say thanks. For everything."   
"No problem. Now do you believe me?"   
"Hai. And I'll never doubt you again. Because now I know that all you have to do is wait and see." -Owari- 


End file.
